Hitting the reset button is hard, but I know you can do it. I did it, and life is pretty good right now for me. So, how did I do it, and most importantly, how many times did I have to hit the reset button? Yes, I had to reset on many occasions, but with every reset, I became better in three important areas: mental, physical, and spiritual.

According to Steven Handel, author of Small Habits, Big Changes, “A hard reset” can be any life-changing decision, including (but not limited to): moving to a new place, changing career paths, or ending a marriage or long-term relationship. A “hard reset” is life-altering and risky by definition. You’re leaving your current life (which is familiar and safe) and willing to take a chance to see what else the world has to offer you.”

For me, it was the transition from being a stay-at-home mom to the career-oriented person I’ve always strived to be.

Today, I’m going to talk about the mental reset.

The mental reset was the hardest for me. After a few years of financial upsets and setbacks, I used to kick myself for not being financially responsible. Right after college, I married and had my first baby. While my friends were moving on to get higher degrees and getting dream jobs, I was starting a family. And when I say starting a family, I had my second baby 22 months later, another baby 21 months later, and my last child 20 months later. I had four kids under the age of five years old. I loved being home and being a part of everything that involved my kids. My husband has always been a great provider, and he took care of everything we needed as a family. After years of being home with my kids, I longed for a career, but I couldn’t imagine working eight or more hours a day with four kids. All I could think about was how did I go to school, get a degree and end up not having a career? All of my working friends would tell me that I was lucky to be able to be home with my kids, and don’t get me wrong, it had its benefits. Now that my kids are fully grown adults, I don’t have any regrets. I put the time in, and I can never say I didn’t spend enough time with my family. But, not knowing what I could have been was lodged in the back of my mind for so long, and then one day, I hit a low point. When my husband’s company was acquired by another company, he lost his contract and his sole source of income. We lost our beautiful home, cars and moved into an apartment.

I was embarrassed and ashamed because I didn’t contribute financially to our family. Yes, I was a good mother and wife, but I couldn’t participate in the saving of my family.

Have you ever had a time in your life when things were going well, and then something very unexpected happened, and you just couldn’t seem to find your way back to that bliss, to that time that you were in a good place? It took me about three years to get my head above water. Yes, three years because I couldn’t get over my failure and embarrassment.

So how did I get over it, and what did I do to reset my mental capabilities?

First, I accepted my past.

There was nothing I could do that could have changed what had already happened. It was behind me. I was mentally replaying what I could have done differently, and the answer was nothing. It was done, completed, and a closed chapter. I overwhelmed myself over something that was done. There was nothing there; it was gone. It was time to move on. Notice, I didn’t say forget my past. I moved on. I made a decision to never ever be completely financially dependent ever again. My husband received another contract, and this go around, I worked with him, and we began to chop down our debt. Most importantly, I stopped breathing life in that particular failure.

Secondly, I picked up a new habit, and that was reading books about finances. I’m a big Suze Orman fan, and I started reading her books and completed her financial workbook. The book taught me simple tips for gaining financial independence, and I was really paying attention to how money works. I became more aware of how I knew how to make money; it was keeping it that got me!

Next, I had to look at duties and responsibilities as a wife and mother. When you choose to do a hard reset, you can’t just simply “Do You.”

You still have responsibilities that can’t be neglected. I navigated through my hard reset by prioritizing what I needed to get done to keep my life heading forward. So, I had to plan out everything, from the time I woke up every morning to the time I went to bed every night. I did all the important things first for my family and me. Everything else was secondary. I have a notebook of To-Dos and a journal to express the “hard” and “easy” for me. I’ve been doing this for years because I can see and read how far I’ve come and how close I am to achieving my goals. Writing is therapeutic for me.

Lastly, finding the right environment. After living 13 years in my dream home and becoming an empty nester, I came to a point where I was saying to myself, “Is this it?” My husband and I worked most of our adult lives to make sure our kids had everything they needed and everything we wanted them to have. This can’t be it…So after my last child went to college, we jumped and began a journey of what we wanted before the marriage and kids. We had dreams that needed to be fulfilled, and when my husband said, let’s move. We did that. We moved, and it wasn’t just a literal move. It was a move to our next level.

It was the start of another reset, which is another story.

In this segment, I talked about the mental reset. I had to put the past behind me and stop breathing life into it. Secondly, I owned my responsibility of becoming financially independent by learning how to keep and save money. I also kept my family intact by making sure my needs were met first before I could take care of their needs. Lastly, I changed my environment to a place I dreamed of before marriage and kids. In my next segment, we will talk about the physical reset.

I am Deborah Flemming Bradley, and thank you for joining me for another episode of Point of Prosperity.

And don’t forget to follow me on all social media platforms and for more on transforming your life at deborahflemmingbradley.com.